In my book 10 Steps to Happiness I include many of what I call “Power of 5” practices. These are practices that can be done in around five minutes which can help you to quickly and easily relax or reset your nervous system and neural wiring, and help you feel happier. The “Happiness Helper” tips that I share on my blog are Power of 5 practices which may be from the book, or may be new.
Practice Being Kind
We all know that kindness benefits others, and that it is ethically good to be kind, but did you know that being kind is also very beneficial for releasing stress and helping you to feel better? Below are some of the reasons why.
Being kind:
- Releases Oxytocin. Participating in an act of kindness can stimulate the release of Oxytocin. Oxytocin is one of your body’s natural feel good chemical messengers (hormones). Oxytocin helps us to feel bonded to others, and can lower your blood pressure. It is also involved in the production of testosterone in men and estrogen in women, and good levels can help keep your hormones balanced.
- Releases Serotonin. Serotonin is another of your body’s natural feel good chemical messengers (hormones) and has a calming effect. It also stimulates the natural healing ability of your body.
- Releases Dopamine and Endorphins. By studying MRI’s scientists have been able to learn that when you give to someone else, it stimulates your mesolimbic pathway, which is the reward centre in the brain. This releases endorphins and can create a feeling of “helper’s high“
- Decreases Cortisol. Cortisol is the primary hormone released as part of your body’s stress response. In small doses to aid with short term stress it is helpful, but long-term activation of the stress response system, and the overexposure to cortisol and other stress hormones that follows, can disrupt almost all of your body’s processes. This puts you at increased risk of many health problems such as anxiety, digestive problems, headaches, muscle pain, sleep problems, weight gain, heart issues and the impairment of memory and concentration.
- Decreases Stress. Decreased stress levels contribute to less pain, lower anxiety, lower blood pressure and reduced depression.
- Reduces Depression and Anxiety. When you are depressed or anxious you tend to become overly focused on your own problems and problems in general. Being kind to others and helping other people can enable you to appreciate what you have, experience being able to be part of the solution to a problem for someone else, and interrupts your rumination on yourself.
- Boosts Your Self-Esteem. Helping someone else can enable you to experience how you can be of value.
- Improves Your Relationships with Others. A recent study found that “by turning our attention toward helping others, we make everyone feel better—ourselves included. We find not only relief from our depression and anxiety, but also improvements in our relationships. Taken together these two effects can trigger a “virtuous circle” in which improved relationships lead to feeling better leads to improved relationships and so forth.” (Psychology Today)
Plus, there are the added spinoffs that practicing kindness can help you look better and live longer through increasing serotonin and oxytocin levels, and reducing stress.
Here are some ideas for quick and easy acts of kindness:
- Smile – when you see a friend, when someone serves you, at people you pass when you are walking, when your workmate/child completes a task
- Give a compliment
- Write and give an encouraging or loving note to someone
- Thank your partner/flatmate for doing something regular or expected
- Let someone into the line of traffic when you are driving
- Donate blankets, old towels or homemade dog treats to an animal shelter
- Donate clothes you no longer wear
- Mow your neighbour’s front verge
- Pick some flowers and give them to someone
- If you have a shared drive, bring in your neighbour’s rubbish bins
- Make someone a hot drink
- Buy someone a cold drink
- Share books
- Pay for a friend when you attend a class together
- Pray for or send loving energy to someone
- Forgive – yourself or someone else
- Meditate on loving kindness
- Say no when you want to/kindly communicate your boundaries – this is kindness to you, and kindness to the other person who then gets the best of you and has clarity about what makes you feel good.
There are so many benefits to being kind, both for yourself and the people who you help and support. It doesn’t have to be big or take a lot of time. Doing lots of small acts of kindness is just as good, and can be far more manageable and achievable. Kindness is a powerful investment of your time and energy.
Remember to practice self-kindness as well. Self-kindness means not giving to someone else if it going to cause you stress. It means knowing your own limits and honouring your personal boundaries. Self-kindness also means getting comfortable with receiving the kindness that others show to you.
Feel free to share your ideas of how you practice kindness in the comments below.
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