(First posted October 2019)
Have you ever experienced a significant emotional breakthrough or greater sense of spiritual alignment, and then feel like you are hit by an energetic Mack truck shortly after? I felt this today. In my last post I wrote about how I had moved into a new level of consciousness in processing guilt and shame. I had worked through this to a place of peace and then “Wham!” Today I felt like this blew up again like a punch to the gut.
I had a good cry. Allowed myself to feel, and loved myself for all the feelings and thoughts that were coming up, and then leaned into seeking an understanding of what was happening.
Why Does Negative Stuff Come Up After a Spiritual Breakthrough?
I think there are a few reasons this happens. It can be deeper unconscious limiting beliefs drawing the experience into your life. This may also be a shadow issue coming to consciousness. This is when shadow aspects of a fear you thought you had already worked through come into conscious awareness. Alternatively, when you clear one layer of psychological and emotional healing, a deeper layer can now rise to the surface.
Energetic Mack trucks can also be the result of energy momentum shifting. When you go from flowing with low level beliefs and emotions such as guilt and shame, to flowing with higher level beliefs and emotions such as forgiveness, acceptance and love, then there is a significant shift in the way energy is flowing, and you are working to establish a new energy momentum. This can create some resistance in the form of unwanted experiences. It’s like a healing crisis in the body. Old energy is shifting to make way for new energy to come in. Sometimes this can mean that what you are working to shift may intensify before it clears. It may mean that unwanted events come up to provide an opportunity to release stuck emotions or strengthen new beliefs. The energy shift is also like what happens with water when it is moving in a whirlpool with strong momentum going one way, and then you start directing it to whirl in the opposite direction. There is strong resistance as the water begins to flow in a new way.
The Universe has a Law of Polarity and Balance
The other reason energetic Mack trucks can appear to hit you, and I think this is the case for me, is that there is a law of polarity and balance in the universe. The Law of Polarity states that everything in the universe has an opposite. It is the experience of the opposite that gives rise to the evolution of the desired.
Spirit wants to enjoy the reality of its own livingness in an ever advancing and progressive manner, but to do so requires a complimentary or polar opposite that’s intelligently calculated to give rise to the particular kind of relation out of which the specifically desired enjoyment or quality of self-consciousness may necessarily arise.
– Janette Getui (read more about the Law of Polarity here)
From a science perspective, the number of electrons in a neutral atom is equal to the number of protons i.e. there is equal balance of positive and negative energy in the base building blocks of all matter. The zero-energy universe hypothesis proposes that the total amount of energy in the universe is exactly zero as the amount of positive energy in the form of matter is exactly cancelled out by the amount of negative energy in the form of gravity. The concept of Yin and Yang is a metaphysical way of describing universal balance. Another, is the Abraham Hicks concept that expansion is balanced with contrast. Contrast is the experience of that we do not like or do not want which prompts us to give birth to a desire for what we do like and do want i.e. to expand. You can also think of it in terms of challenge and growth. Without some sort of challenge, there is no growth. If you were content and happy all the time, then you would not feel any desire to expand.
Attaining greater levels of consciousness and alignment also creates greater experience of contrast in balance to it. When you reach a higher level of alignment, you need a greater challenge to prompt you to expand further.
Sometimes, this is described as the Universe or God testing us, but I prefer not to use the word ‘test’ as it implies that we need to grow in some way to reach a level of acceptance i.e. that we are not already enough. I believe that divine love is unconditional pure positive energy and perceives all people as inherently completely worthy, and holds them in constant adoration without requiring them to prove or earn anything. I think that most of us are so embedded in our physical human reality of love being conditional that we have difficulty comprehending true unconditional love, yet most if not all people who have had transcendent spiritual experiences speak of feeling a sense of all-embracing love, and oneness with all that is.
I believe that the energetic Mack trucks which appear in our lives are chiefly about balance. When we experience greater levels of consciousness and alignment with the truth of who we are, then in balance to that we can also experience greater contrast.
When you perceive your energetic Mack trucks not as a challenge, or a sign that you are off your path, or that you HAVE to grow in some way (i.e. you are being tested), then you can simply notice them and ask yourself, “How can I use this as a stimulus for greater alignment?” You can take it as a symbol that you have grown in consciousness and alignment, and that the level of the contrast shows how much you have expanded.
Janette Getui adds another level to this.
I won’t ask you to just believe that there is goodness in your apparent badness like most people say, I won’t even say that something positive is already waiting for you in that negative condition. I am boldly saying that you are experiencing that condition because you are the solution that will dissolve it.
What if you experience unwanted conditions because you already have the potential solution to dissolve them?
What if they were not a bad thing or a test, but an opportunity to evolve the magnificence that is already within you? Not even a growth or becoming, but a revelation, because you already are all as an extension of Source energy.
You cannot be more because you are already at Soul level all that you can be, all that is. What if you are simply experiencing opportunities to become more conscious of that – to remember it?
Now there’s a wonderful concept to play with.
How to Evolve Through Energy Shifts
Today, after I had allowed the initial emotional wave to flow through me, I leaned into the contrast and asked myself, “What do I want with regards to this situation?” My responses were: I want to feel worthy, I want to feel good, I want to feel that I am loved and I want to honour myself with fairness and strength. I asked myself, “Do I want to never make mistakes? Do I want to be perfect?” My response was no, because making mistakes is a source of learning and growth, and through making mistakes I can learn understanding and empathy for others. Moreover, often what we feel is a mistake or failure at the time, can lead to a new creative solution or invention. I realised it is not making mistakes that is the problem for me. The problem is how I perceive making mistakes, and the stories I tell myself about how others perceive them. The problem is the expectations I place on myself to get everything right. I believe my strong judgement of myself as being wrong, and my struggle to forgive myself, has invited people into my life who are also very critical of me.
In moving forward to healing and growth, I am giving myself extra time to be in nature and simply breathe and be and not feel compelled to do anything or solve anything. I am allowing space for energy to balance and shift naturally in myself and around me. I am noticing the things in my life that are positive and liked and wanted and supportive, both to shift my energy to a higher frequency, and because often a big unwanted Mack truck driving into our life can block our view of all the good things that are present in our lives as well. Through that I will begin to tell a new story. A new story that all is well, there is no judgement here, I’m doing just fine, I am worthy, I am loved, I am on my path, I am supported, I am allowed to feel good and be happy, I’m meant to feel good, feeling good is alignment, and everything is working out for me.
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